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One year ago today

How has it been a year since I lost you two? I love and miss you both so very much. My heart breaks thinking you never got to meet Ryker nor will you see him grow up. I really thought by now I would have more peace and understanding but I don't. I really thought by now it would get easier but it doesn't. I know a piece of me died with you both. I just have so many mixed emotions.... love, anger, sadness etc. I wish so badly I could be comforted by you both. I wish so badly I could hear your voices and see your beautiful faces! I do have some comfort knowing you are both with Aunt Shelia and Grandpa but the selfish part of me wants you with me. Its not fair. WHY?




If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
We would walk right up to heaven
And bring you back again
No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And only God knows why
Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know
But now we know you want us
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store
Since you'll never be forgotten
We pledge to you today
A hallowed place within our hearts
Is where you'll always stay





I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too,
I think of you in silence I often speak your name
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame
Your memory is my keepsake with which I'll never part
God has you in His keeping I have you in my heart.





I know my heart will never be the same
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay

Even on my weakest days

I (will) get a little bit stronger

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